Being Seen
Does anyone see you?
My brothers stayed with us over the weekend and worked on two big projects: an irrigation system for the garden, and a pergola.
Commenting on how hard my husband and brothers were working, a friend said to me, “Wow. You are loved. Do you see how much they love you?”
I had been focusing on the stress of organizing the projects, the cost of materials, everything that could go wrong with heavy machinery rentals and people up on ladders, and my frustration with limitations that chronic pain imposes on me.
But that nudge from my friend got me to take a mental step back and sit with my gratitude. I am so lucky to be surrounded by love; by people who want to help make my dreams come true.
When my oldest brother finished the last part of the irrigation work, I stopped him and said, “Hey. I’m going to make it weird,” and gave him a big hug. Then said, “I appreciate you, and you’ve worked so hard, and I really want you to know how important this is to me. Thank you.”
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And at the end of the weekend, I spent the evening talking to my other brother about my business plans and vision for the future. When we said goodnight, he hugged me and said, “I’m proud of you. You’re doing so many great things.”
I got a little teary and realized: I needed to be seen and to hear that someone sees me.
Whether it’s in your personal or professional life, are you being seen? Do other people recognize and acknowledge you, when it matters most?
And do you do the same for others? Do you tell people, in the moment, when you notice them working hard? When you see that they’re struggling?
It is a beautiful gift to have people in your life who see you.
We often share stories and appreciation when people leave – whether it’s at a memorial, or someone moves on from a workplace, or at a retirement party. These milestone life events are an important part of being in community with one another.
But there are those other day-to-day moments too. When you see a colleague remain calm and centred during an intense meeting. When a team member is going through a divorce, and you admire their capacity to work through hard things while dreaming for a happier future.
Tell your people that you see them. Name the ways. Don’t wait.
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